What Is True Love?
What is true love between two people? How do we find and recognize that person? These questions are common in our quest for love. Many of us navigate relationships that don’t quite fit and make compromises along the way, always searching for that elusive connection.
In my work with clients, I’ve observed that many have never experienced true love. Often, what they were taught to be love came from parents, relatives, or first relationships. Many of these people were passing on their traumas, fears, and doubts, resulting in toxic and unhealed relationships labeled as love. This realization has been a profound part of my journey as a healer and has sparked my drive to help others to not only heal but also heal their understanding of what love—true, healthy love—is.
According to Dictionary.com, love is defined as “an intense, deep affection for another person,” and to be in love is “to love someone very much in a romantic way.” However, these definitions fall short of capturing the true essence of love. This limited definition might be why many of us struggle to understand and find true love. And if we can’t define or understand what love truly is, it’s no wonder so many of us have yet to find it. This lack of understanding also explains why we stay in relationships—whether familial, platonic, or romantic—that lack genuine love. How can we muster the courage to leave something familiar and search for something we can’t even define, let alone recognize?
Is seeking love as great an effort as seeking the Holy Grail?
Recently, I had the pleasure of reading a book that explores these very questions. The author shares his own life’s pitfalls and lessons on his journey to finding true love. As I read, I found myself engaging in thought-provoking conversations, especially with my husband Ken. We have both experienced divorce and failed relationships. We both continued our lives after divorce, holding out hope for true love. We both knew that we had to be living a life of love, free of games, shields, and fear to find love. Some would say a quest of sorts.
So, the conversations sparked by this book were between two people who had experienced the failures and knockouts but continued to get back up and hope for true love. We began to identify the characteristics of what love is but also what love is not. We discussed the difference between love and fear, healthy relationships and toxic relationships, and sharing oneself and losing oneself.
The book that sparked these thoughts and conversations is The Bridge Across Forever: A True Love Story by Richard Bach. I encourage each of you to read this beautiful autobiography. See what conversations it stirs and begin to write your understanding of true love.
With kindness and curiosity, let’s embark on this hopeful journey together.
Much Love and Many Blessings,
Jenny Ocean
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